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Jokes About Women

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Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side

Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her

Q: What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches?
A: Single

Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist?
A: Hate male

My girlfriend told me to see things from a woman's point of view, so I looked out the kitchen window.

Q: What type of food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Wedding cake

Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry her

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman with PMS?
A: Lipstick

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick, it doesn't follow you around for two weeks

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't, there's a clock on the oven

Q: How do you know that beer contains female hormones?
A: If you drink two or three, you can't drive properly anymore and start talking nonsense

Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it

Q: Why do women have such small feet?
A: So they can stand closer to the oven

Q: What takes up 12 parking spaces?
A: 6 Women drivers

Q: Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: Because they don't have balls

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: A $100 bill

Q: Why did God make women?
A: You think he's gonna wash the dishes?

Q: What is a wife?
A: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

Q: Why do women love reaching climax in bed?
A: Because it gives them another reason to moan!

Q: What do you call a woman with no clitoris?
A: It doesn't matter, she's not going to come

Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits

Q: What do you call a woman who will gives head for a pair of Jimmy Choos?
A: Head Over Heels

Q: How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?
A: She fits into your wife's clothes

Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up

Q: Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips?
A: Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!

Q: What do you call a girl with PMS and ESP?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it

Q: What book do women like the most?
A: Their husband's checkbook!

Female Viagra has been around for years... it's called money!

Always love a woman for her personality. She has ten you can choose from.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A: They don't have time

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