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St. Patrick's Day Jokes

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Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Paddy O'furniture

Q: Why don't women want to get engaged on St Patricks Day?
A: They don't want to get a "sham rock"

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin

Q: Why do leprechauns giggle when they play soccer?
A: Cause the grass tickles their balls

Q: What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick's Day?
A: St. O'Claus

Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
A: A Jolly Green Giant

Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A: He's Dublin over with laughter!

Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short

Q: What do ghosts drink on St Patrick's Day?

Q: What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone?
A: A sham-rock

Q: What's the main difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
A: 1 less drunk at the party

Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?
A: Sure, they're great at shorthand

Q: What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
A: A leper-con

Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?
A: Because they're very short-tempered

Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
A: He couldn't afford plane fare

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy

Q: Why don't you iron 4-Leaf clovers?
A: Because you don't want to press your luck

Q: When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
A: When it's a French fry

Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?
A: Short ribs

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four girls drinking on St Patricks Day

Q: What do you call a Cubic Zirconia in Ireland?
A: A sham-rock

Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player?
A: The Halfback of Notre Dame

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?
A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms

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