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Star Trek Jokes

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Q: Why did the Klingon cross the road?
A: To conquer the other side.

Q: What are Vulcan eyeglasses called?
A: Spocktacles

Q: Why don't the Borg go to prison?
A: Because they obey the Lore!

Q: What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?
A: A croaking device

Q: What does the Enterprise and Toliet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons

Q: Why did the Borg cross the road?
A: Because it assimilated the chicken!

Q: What did Spock find in Kirk's toliet?
A: The Captain's Log

Q: Where do the Borg eat fast food?
A: At their local Borger King!

Q: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?
A: They have engaged the Borg

Q: Why was Star Trek so successful?
A: It had good Genes

Q: How many ears does Picard have?
A: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear

Q: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?
A: Worf Speed

Q: How many Vulcans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Approximately 1.0000000000000000000

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: NONE: Klingons aren't afraid of the dark

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit

Q: How many Borg does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: All of them!

Q: Why can't Klingon kids play in sandboxes?
A: Cats keep trying to cover them up

Q: How do you get a one-armed Klingon out of a tree?
A: Wave to him

Q: What is Captain Picards biggest pet peeve?
A: When the crew replaces his dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals.

Q: What is Riker's dating philosophy?
A: If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again.

Q: Why did Worf change his hair color?
A: It was a good day to dye.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Q: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine?
A: Make it sew.

Q: What happened when Yeoman Rand complained that someone had cut a peephole in her cabin door?
A: Captain Kirk promised to look into it.

Q: What did one Borg say to one another right before their ship was destroyed in sector zero zero one?
A: Hoisted by our own Picard.

Q: How did T'Pring's parents react when they learned she was not marrying Spock?
A: They were Stonned.

Q: What do the Klingons do with the dead bulb?
A: Execute it for failure.

Q: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker?"
A: "Because I Riker."

Q: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?
A: "Captain, we are being hailed."

Q: Did you hear about the Federation weapons expert?
A: He never forgets a phaser.

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