Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Soccer Jokes for Sports Fans

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Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: He was tired of being kicked around

Q: What tea do soccer players drink?
A: PenalTea

Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Wayne Rooney?
A: Clinton can score

Q: What lights up a soccer pitch at night?
A: A soccer match

Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!

Q: Which soccer team loves ice-cream?
A: Aston Vanilla

Q: What's the difference between OJ Simpson and the England soccer team?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence

Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So she could tie the score

Q: Why is a bad soccer team like an old bra?
A: It has no cups and very little support

Q: Which soccer team uses the most toilet paper?
A: Arsenal.

Q: What does a Lionel Messi and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks.

Q: Why wasn’t the nose on the soccer team?
A: It didn’t get picked.

Q: Why is Cinderella a poor soccer player?
A: She has a pumpkin for a coach

Q: Why does Annie like soccer?
A: She gets a kick out of it

Q: Why are soccer players excellent at math?
A: They know how to use their heads.

Q: Why doesn't Pakistan have an international football team?
A: Because each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

Q: How do soccer players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!

Q: What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a broken clock?
A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!

Q: How do you make a Gunners fan run?
A: Build a job centre.

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Football team?
A: Because she Kept running away from the ball.

Q: How did the football pitch get all wet?
A: The players dribbled all over it.

Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand

Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!

Q: Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating Indian food?
A: They think they can't use they're hands

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