Quick, Funny Jokes!

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School Teacher Jokes

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Q: Why did the prince bring his father to school?
A: The teacher said to bring a ruler

Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet!

Q: Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows?
A: He wanted the lesson to be very clear!

Q: Why was the students report card all wet?
A: Because it was below C level.

Q: If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on?
A: The scholar-ships.

Q: What school do you greet people in?
A: Hi School!

Q: What do you call a teacher without students?
A: Broke. Oh wait, that’s a regular teacher

Q: What would happen if you took the school bus home?
A: The police would make you bring it back!

Q: Why did the students like their trigonometry teacher?
A: He never gave homework as-SIN-ments.

Q: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A: She couldn't control her pupils!

Q: Why did the report card sting the girl?
A: It was full of B’s!

Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire?
A: Lots of blood tests.

Q: Who should be your best friend at school?
A: Your princi-pal!

Q: What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
A: The multiplication table.

Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in HIGH School!

Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
A: Summer!

Q: Why are kindergarten teachers so great?
A: Because they know how to make little things count.

Q: What animal gets in trouble when it takes a test?
A: The cheetah

Q: What do you call a teacher without students?
A: Happy

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 ate 9!

Q: Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they’re all in HIGH school!

Q: Where do door-makers get their education?
A: The school of hard knocks

Q: Why was the math teacher crying?
A: She had too many problems!

Q: What kinds of tests do they give witches?
A: Hex-aminations

Q: What is the center of gravity?
A: The letter “V”.

Q: What is 5Q + 5Q?
A: 10Q. And you're welcome!

Q: Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed?
A: Because he wanted to see how long he slept!

Q: What has wings and solves number problems?
A: A moth-ematician

Q: What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple!

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: A teacher says “Spit out your gum!” and a train says “Chew Chew!”

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the science lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!

Q: What is a snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-tory!

Q: What is the easiest way to raise your grades?
A: Hold them up in the air!

Q: Why did the teacher yell at Humpty Dumpty?
A: He cracked up during class!

Q: What must you pay to go to school?
A: Attention

Q: How is a teacher like an eye doctor?
A: They both examine pupils

Q: At what school do you have to drop out so you can graduate?
A: Parachute school

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train’s engineer?
A: One trains minds, the other minds trains!

Q: Why does history keep repeating itself?
A: Because we weren’t listening the first time!

Teachers always tell us to follow our dreams, but yet they don't let us sleep in class.

My teacher pointed his ruler at me and said, at the end of this ruler there is an idiot. I got in trouble after asking which end.

Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

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