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Republican Jokes

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Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt?
A: A tea party

Q: What does "Standing Tall for America" mean?
A: Firing your workers and moving their jobs to India

Q: Why is trade with communist Cuba bad?
A: Because it lowers our trade potential with China and Vietnam

Q: Why should Creationism be taught in schools?
A: Because it leaves less time to teach Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer

Q: What do the Republican primaries and the Duggars have in common?
A: They both have 19 kids and counting

Q: How do you fight the war on terror?
A: By belittling our long-time allies, then demanding their cooperation and money

Q: What do you get when you offer a member of the Tea Party a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change

Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency?
A: At least two!

Q: What the difference between a Conservative and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either

Q: What is the difference between a Republican ass-kisser and a brown-noser?
A: Depth perception

Q: What do you call an idiot who spends their days mortified by aliens, Arabs and anthrax?
A: A Fox News Viewer

Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

Q: What do you call a basement full of Conservatives?
A: A whine cellar

Q: What do Republicans and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

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