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Lesbian Jokes

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Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D

Q: Whats the difference between a lesbian driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A: When u are eating pussy you can still see the asshole in front of you!

Q: What do you call two lesbians floating down a river
A: Fur Traders

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men.

Q: What do you call an Irish lesbian?
A: Gaylick

Q: What's the difference between a lesbian and a ritz cracker?
A: One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

Q: What do you call a lesbian's closet?
A: A lick-her cabinet.

Q: What do you call cough medicine for lesbians?
A: Dyquil

Q: What do lesbians call viagra?
A: Batteries

Q: What card game do lesbians play?
A: Poke-her

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: A clitosaurus

Q: Where can you find a penis on a lesbian?
A: Maybe you should ask Dick van Dyke.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with 500 semiautomatic rifles?
A: Militia Etheridge

Q: To be legally married, a male and female need a marriage license. What do two lesbians need?
A: A Licker-license!

Q: What does a lesbian want for christmas more than anything else?
A: A brand new carpet to munch on

Q: What is the leading cause of death for lesbians?
A: Hairballs

Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators?
A: Toys for Twats

Q: Why can't lesbians go on a diet and wear lipstick at the same time?
A: You can't eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on your face!

Q: What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like?
A: Depends

Q: What do you call two lesbians on their period?
A: Finger Painting

Q: What did one lesbian say to another?
A: Your face or mine?

Q: What kind of humor do lesbians like?
A: Tongue in cheek.

Q: What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
A: Two can chew!

Q: What's the difference between a bowling ball and a lesbian?
A: You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Q: Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: They always eat out

Q: What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A: Well hung.

Q: What does Santa get a lesbian for Christmas?
A: A new carpet to munch on.

Q: How can you tell you're in a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table has no balls.

Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
A: "I'll see you next month."

Q: Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres died?
A: They found her face down in Ricki Lake.

Q: Have you heard about the new lesbian style of running shoe called the dykee?
A: It has an extra long tongue and only takes one finger to get it off.

Q: What's the most important question on the minds of Alaskan lesbians?
A: What would ya do for a Klondyke bar?

Q: Why are lesbians lousy construction workers?
A: They don't know how to handle wood.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
A: Single!

Q: Did you here about the two lesbians that built a house?
A: It was all tongue and groove and not a stud in sight.

Q: What do you call a 300 pound lesbian?
A: A bush hog

Q: Why do lesbians shave there vaginas?
A: So they don't start a fire grinding.

Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 3 blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q: What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A: A crack in the ceiling.

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, two to organize the potluck and one to write a folk song about the empowering experience

Q: Do you know why oysters increase lesbian sexual libido?
A: Because after eating a dozen oysters, pussy doesn't taste so bad!

Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Both of them.

Q: What is the difference between a Wheat Thin and a lesbian?
A: One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
A: Lick-a-likes.

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