Quick, Funny Jokes!

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NFL Football Jokes for Sports Fans

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Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
A: Give me my quarterback!

Q: What do you call a Jacksonville Jaguar at the Super Bowl?
A: A spectator

Q: Why did god invent football?
A: So that married men could have some physical contact in their lives.

Q: Why don't the Detroit Lions have a website?
A: They can't string three "w's" together

Q: Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?
A: The Kansas City Chefs

Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
A: An anorexic

Q: How do you stop a Atlanta Falcons fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a Saints Jersey

Q: Why do coaches like punters?
A: Because punters always put their best foot forward.

Q: Why doesn't Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then Cleveland would want one

Q. Why do ducks fly over Ford Field upside down?
A. There's nothing worth crapping on

Q: What does an Oakland Raiders fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up

Q: What do you call a lineman's kid?
A: A chip off the old blocker

Q: What did the football say to the punter?
A: I get a kick out of you

Q: What football player has very strong legs and builds houses?
A: A car-punter

Q: How do football players stay cool?
A: They stand close to their fans

Q: Which football player wears the biggest helmet?
A: The one with the biggest head

Q: Which insect doesn’t play well in football?
A: The fumble bee

Q: Which football game do cats like to watch?
A: The Goldfish Bowl

Q: Why do football players wear helmets on their heads?
A: Because they don’t fit on their feet

Q: What do centers wear on the feet?
A: Hiking shoes

Q: What do receivers catch after running downfield?
A: Their breath

Q: What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill

Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarterback

Old quarterbacks never die. They just pass away.

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