Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Medical Doctor Jokes

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Q: What do you call a doctor that fixes websites?
A: A URLologist

Q: What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A: A double blind study!

Q: What do you call a student that got C's all the way through med school?
A: Hopefully not your doctor.

Q: What did the man say to the x-ray technician after swallowing some money?
A: "Do you see any change in me?"

Q: Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?
A: So she wouldn't wake the sleeping pills!

Q: How are enemas and divorces alike?
A: At first they are both pretty crappy but in the long run they feel pretty good!

Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist, one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.

A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband!

Q: What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon.
A: A God doesn't think he is an orthopedic surgeon.

Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: By The taste.

Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: Yes, but only if you aim it well enough.

Q: Did you hear about the baby born in the high tech delivery room?
A: It was cordless!

Q: Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
A: He made a spectacle of himself

Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

Q: What happened when the man tried to search for information about impotence on the Internet?
A: Nothing came up.

Q: What's the medical term for owning too many dogs?
A: A Roverdose!

Q: What's the difference between a marriage and a mental hospital?
A: At a mental hospital you have to show improvement to get out.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate.

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