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Democrat Jokes

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Q: Why did God create Democrats?
A: In order to make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What the difference between a Liberal and the rear end of a horse?
A: I don't know either.

Q: What do you get when you offer a Liberal a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted

Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet?
A: A free for all

Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal?
A: Thirty minutes of begging

Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline

Q: How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but it really gets screwed

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera

Q: What do you call Al Gore's drumming?
A: An algorithm. 

Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do

Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's irrelevant; they still don't know they're in the dark!

Q: How do Democrats talk about Republican foreign policy?
A: By saying the word "Conspiracy" over and over again

Q: Why do Liberals work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%

Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese

Q: What is the difference between a liberal ass-kisser and a brown-noser?
A: Depth perception.

Q: What's the definition of a Liberal running for Congress for the first time?
A: A mouse trying to become a rat

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