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Christmas Jokes

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Q: What do you get when you cross Santa Claus with a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker!

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
A. Rude-olph!

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles

Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish

Q. What Christmas carol is a favourite of parents?
A. Silent Night

Q. Why is Santa so good at karate?
A. Because he has a black belt!

Q. What do you get when you cross a cat with Santa Claus?
A. Santa-Claws!

Q. What is green, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt elf

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!

Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem

Q. Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
A. Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

Q. What kind of insect hates Christmas?
A. A humbug

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinate Clauses.

Q. Who gives presents to baby sharks?
A. Santa Jaws

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic

Q. Why did the candy cane cross the road?
A. Because it wanted to get a licking!

Q. What did the reindeer say when he saw an elf?
A. Nothing, reindeer can't talk

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. "Looks like rain, dear."

Q: Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel

Q. What do fish sing in the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!

Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels

Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet

Q. Why does Santa have three gardens ?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE

Q. What do you call a girl with a Christmas Tree on her head?
A. Carol

Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!

Q: What is an elf's favorite type of music?
A: Wrap music

Q: What disease do you get when you decorate for Christmas?
A: Tinsel-itis

Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was "on the house!"

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What song did the monkey sing on Christmas?
A. Jungle bells

Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses

Q. What's Santa's favourite candy?
A. Jolly Ranchers!

Q. What did the ghost sing to Santa Claus?
A. I'll have a "boo" Christmas without you.

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