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Q: Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?
A: They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
Q: Who profits the most on Black Friday?
A: The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
Q: What do people eat on Black Friday?
A: Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.
Q: Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving 'Black Friday'?
A: It matches the mood of all those unhappy bloated shoppers.
Q: What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?
A: They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed.
Q: Why is Black Friday a scam?
A: Because it makes you realize that you’ve been getting overcharged 364 days a year.
Q: What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?
A: A Macintosh.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson go Black Friday shopping?
A: He heard boys underwear was half off.
Q: Why did Obama’s family go shopping on Black Friday?
A: What better way is there to spread some of that Stimulus Money!
Q: How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?
A: Don't worry they'll let you know!
Q: How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday?
A: He Jingles All The Way.
Q: Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?
A: The one who earns the least.
Q: Why is Donald Trump getting rid of Black Friday?
A: Because he wants an All White Christmas.
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