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Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age
You have arrived at old age when all you can put your teeth into... is a glass.
Q: What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A: Angel food cake
You're getting older when you are on vacation and your energy runs out before your money does.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.
Q: What does a clam do on his birthday?
A: He shellabrates!
Q: What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake?
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Q: What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake?
A: "Hey, what's eating you?"
Q: Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A: Because it was marble cake!
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Q: What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
A: A birthday pheasant!
You know you're getting older when it takes you longer to get over having a good time than it took to have it!
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Forget it once!
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