Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Australian, Aussie Jokes

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Q: What is the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?
A: One less drunk at the funeral.

Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato!

Q: What is the Australian animal that most resembles the Australian male?
A: The wombat, because he eats, roots, and leaves.

Q: How does every Aussie joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: Why do so many Australian men suffer premature ejaculation?
A: Because they have to rush back to the pub to tell their mates what happened!

Q: Why did the wombat cross the road?
A: To see its flat mate

Q: Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
A: Because he was koala-fied.

Q: How many Australian men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a woman's job.

Q: What do Australians put in their pockets that Americans throw away?
A: Snot.

Q: What kind of music do kangaroos listen to?
A: Hip Hop

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?
A: He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: What did the Australian do after raking the leaves?
A: He fell out of the tree

Q: What does an Australian politican have in common with an Aussie pornstar's mouth?
A: They're both full of crap!

Q. Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
A. Because their children play inside.

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