Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Animal Jokes

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Q: What's the most musical part of a chicken?
A: The drumstick

Q: What's a frog's favorite soda?
A: Croak-a-Cola

Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
A: They kept dropping their trunks.

Q: What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A: A box of quackers

Q: What do you call an alligator who is a thief?
A: A crookodile

Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog?
A: Toad.

Q: What do cats have for breakfast?
A: Mice Crispies

Q: What do you call a fish without an eye?
A: Fsh

Q: Where did the sheep go on vacation?
A: The baaaahamas

Q: What kind of cars do cats drive?
A: Catillacs!

Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!

Q: What’s a funny fish called?
A: A clownfish

Q: What kind of ties do pigs wear?
A: Pig sties

Q: What do you say if you meet a toad?
A: Wart’s new?

Q: What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
A: Anything you like, he can’t hear you

Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?
A: They are always stuffed!

Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch?
A: Ice berg-ers

Q: What is a dog's favorite city?
A: New Yorkie

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A Labracadabrador

Q: Which animal always cheats on tests?
A: A cheetah

Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison

Q: What is a cat's favourite color?
A: Purr-ple

Q: What are caterpillars afraid of?
A: Dogger-pillars

Q: What animals are the best pets?
A: Cats, because they are purr-fect

Q: Why did the leopard wear a striped shirt?
A: So he wouldn't be spotted

Q: What is a cat's favorite song?
A: Three Blind Mice

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they have honeycombs

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than his bite!

Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!

Q: Why do fish swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze

Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk

Q: What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
A: Lost

Q: What do you call a girl cow in Spanish?
A: Moo-chacha

Q: What do ducks watch on TV?
A: Duck-umentaries

Q: What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A: A drizzly bear

Q: What kind of cats like to go bowling?
A: Alley cats

Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A panda bear with a sunburn

Q: Why do bears have fur coats?
A: Because they look silly wearing jackets

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?
A: Roost beef

Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo

Q: Why did the bee go to the doctor?
A: Because he had hives

Q: What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?
A: Big ones

Q: What does a mixed-up hen lay?
A: Scrambled eggs

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers

Q: What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after a bath?
A: Polly unsaturated!

Q: What do bees do if they want to use public transport?
A: Wait at a buzz stop!

Q: Why does a rooster watch TV?
A: For Hen-tertainment!

Q: Which kinds of snakes are found on cars?
A: Windshield vipers.

Q: What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?
A: Should we walk home or take a dog?

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk

Q: How do most frogs die?
A: They kermit suicide!

Q: How do bees get to school?
A: They ride the school buzz

Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: Ouch!

Q: How does a squid go into battle?
A: Well Armed

Q: What do you call an arctic cow?
A: An eski-moo!

Q: Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide

Q: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cows?
A: Use a cow-culator

Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

Q: Why are elephants never rich?
A: Because they work for peanuts!

Q: Did you hear the story about the skunk?
A: Never mind, it stinks!

Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish

Q: Why did the lamb run over the cliff?
A: He didn’t see the ewe turn!

Q: Why did the foal go to the doctor?
A: Because he was a little horse

Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cock-a-doodle-doo something

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove she wasn’t chicken

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?
A: Because she was a dirty double-crosser

Q: What bird can be heard at mealtimes?
A: A swallow

Q: Why do cows like being told jokes?
A: Because they like being a-moosed!

Q: What kind of ant is even bigger than an elephant?
A: A gi-ant

Q: What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A: It’s jelly-button

Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A chimp off the old block.

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender?
A: Put it on my bill

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