Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Marriage and Wedding Quotes

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"The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I’ll do the dishes.'"
-Anonymous

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher."
-Socrates

"Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them."
-Ogden Nash

"Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash."
-Joyce Brothers

"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."
-Benjamin Franklin

"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it."
-Ann Bancroft

"All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble."
-Raymond Hull

"If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother."
-Sam Levenson

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."
-Rodney Dangerfield

"Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage."
-Zig Ziglar

"You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you."
-Richard Needham

"My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce."
-Joyce Brothers

"I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
-Rita Rudner

"Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week."
-Christie Cook

"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced."
-Helen Rowland

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