Q: Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?
A: Discrimination
Q: What is Donald Trump really trying to do?
A: Make America Hate Again
Q: What is the Beach Boys song "Kokomo" about?
A: All the places Donald Trump has bank accounts
Q: What does Melania see in Donald Trump?
A: Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!
Q: Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?
A: For Hispanic attacks
Q: What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra?
A: He grows taller
Q: If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives?
A: America
Q: What’s the difference between God and Donald Trump
A: God doesn’t think he’s Donald Trump
Q: What is Donald Trump’s favorite chewing gum?
A: Bigly Chew
Q: Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
A: Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
Q: How do you know the economy is only getting worse?
A: On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
Q: Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?
A: Because he never pays his debts.
Q: How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
A: Juan by Juan
Q: If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
A: The Trump Card
Q: How do you make Halloween great again?
A: By carving a Trumpkin
Q: Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
A: Because E.T. eventually went home!
Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.
Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
Q: What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
A: Snow White Supremacist
Q: Why did Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?
A: Because when he won, he moved into a smaller house in a black neighbourhood.
Q: Wanna hear a racist joke?
A: Donald Trump
Q: What’s 18 inches long and hangs in front of an assh*le?
A: Donald Trump’s tie
Q: What does Donald Trump’s wife call it when he takes viagra?
A: A rigged erection
Q: What do a thong and Donald Trump’s toupee have in common?
A: They both barely cover an assh*le
Q: Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
A: Because all his other wives support Hilary
Q: How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
A: By renaming it Trump University.
Q: What's the difference between Donald Trump and a sewage plant?
A: Nothing they're both full of crap!
Q: What does Trumps hair and a thong have in common?
A: They both barely cover the asshole
El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive. I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
Q: What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma if he is elected president?
A: Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
Q: What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
A: Hair Force One!
Q: How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
A: Cause you’re the only one Hair
Q: What did Donald Trump tell the illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at his house?
A: No way Hose A
Q: Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?
A: Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
Q: Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?
A: Meat and Democrats!
Q: How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?
A: By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events
Q: Why isn't it surprising that Donald Trump wants to be President of the United States?
A: Because it's not the first time he has pushed a black family out of their home!
Q: What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters?
A: Orange Is The New Black
Q: Now that Macy's has severed ties with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President elect?
A: By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
Donald Trump doesn't believe in gay marriage. He believes marriage is about a rich guy marrying a much younger model.
Q: What do you call a film about Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Joe Arpaio?
A: Three Ami-egos
Q: What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
A: He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed
"Nearly 70 percent of Americans said a Trump presidency would make them anxious. And 30 percent said a Trump presidency would make them Canadian."
- Conan O’Brien
"It is a little ironic that the Miss USA beauty pageant is overseen by one of the ugliest souls on the planet."
- John Oliver
"The closest Trump ever got to battle was his fight with Rosie O'Donnell."
- Jimmy Kimmel
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