Q: Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
A: He was tired of being kicked around
Q: What tea do soccer players drink?
A: PenalTea
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Wayne Rooney?
A: Clinton can score
Q: What lights up a soccer pitch at night?
A: A soccer match
Q: What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
A: Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!
Q: Which soccer team loves ice-cream?
A: Aston Vanilla
Q: What's the difference between OJ Simpson and the England soccer team?
A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence
Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So she could tie the score
Q: Why is a bad soccer team like an old bra?
A: It has no cups and very little support
Q: Which soccer team uses the most toilet paper?
A: Arsenal.
Q: What does a Lionel Messi and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks.
Q: How do you make a Gunners fan run?
A: Build a job centre.
Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the Football team?
A: Because she Kept running away from the ball.
Q: How did the football pitch get all wet?
A: The players dribbled all over it.
Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in sand?
A: More sand
Q: Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?
A: The grass tickles their balls!
Q: Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating Indian food?
A: They think they can't use they're hands
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