Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Nerd and Geek Jokes

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Q: What does a proud computer call his little son?
A: A microchip off the old block.

Q: Why is beer never served at a math party?
A: Because you can't drink and derive.

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

Q: Why did the 30-60-90 triangle marry the 45-45-90 triangle?
A: They were right for each other

Q: What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?
A: A slipped disk

Q: How can you tell if a computer geek is an extrovert?
A: They stare at your shoes when you talk instead of their own.

Q: Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
A: Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."

Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them

Q: What did Argon do when Copper insulted him?
A: Argon had no reaction.

Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?
A: She covers the story from every angle

Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes

Windows Vista supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously.

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed Linux.

Q: What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?
A: Ouch, Mitosis!

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

Q: What do Biologists wear on their heads when playing Football?
A: Helminths

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!

Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A: The Nucleus

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe

Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Q: What washes up on beaches?
A: Nucleotides

Unix is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.

Bugs come in through open Windows.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Q: What is another name for a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride?
A: NaH

Q: Why can't cats work on the computer?
A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.

My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.

Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house?
A: Welcome to 127.0.0.1

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.

If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

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