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Mormon, LDS Jokes

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Q: Did you hear about the Mormon who went ice fishing?
A: He brought home 100 lbs of ice

Q: What do they call mormons who go to University of Utah?
A: Rejects from BYU!

Q: What do you call a woman who is half-Mormon, half-Jewish?
A: A polygamist who dislikes sex!

Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Zero. Mormons don't use light bulbs because they can't see the light.

Q: What are The LDS 6 P's for perfection?
A: Prophets, Presidency, Patriarchs, Priesthoods, Payees, Prozac.

Q: Why are prison officials stating Polygamist leader Warren Jeffs is now hospitalized after not eating, drinking enough?
A: Apparently, he prefers kids meals.

Q: How many Mormon missionaries does it take to eat a possum?
A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch out for cars.

Q: What do you call a good looking woman in Salt Lake City?
A: A Tourist!

Q: Why will Mormons be the first one's to get to heaven?
A: Because the Bible says that; "the dead in Christ shall rise first".

Q: Why should polygamy be legal?
A: Any guy willing to take multiple wives is punishment enough!

Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Utah?
A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Q: Why did Brigham, the leader of the Latter Day Saints, have so many wives?
A: Because he was Young at heart.

Q: Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans to Mormons?
A: Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

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