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Q: What did the stoner’s girlfriend say?
A: If I can't marry a dude, I’ll Mary Jane
Q: How do you know when you’re living with a true stoner?
A: When their bong gets washed more than the dishes.
Q: What do you call a potato that smokes weed?
A: A baked potato
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in HIGH school
Q: What do you call a pothead with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.
Q. What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard?
A. A Joint Family
Q. What does marijuana and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
A. They both get smoked in bowls.
Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken
Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed?
A: Neither did I.
Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet?
A: A joint in each hand!
Q: What do you call an apple pie getting high in McDonalds?
A: A baked apple pie.
Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners?
A: Baked Beans
Q: What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: Why can’t you inject marijuana?
A: Because you’ll get a budclot!
Q: What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
Q: How many potheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Screw it, we’ve got lighters.
Q: What did the paper say to the weed?
A: Let’s roll!
Q: What kind of car does a stoner drive?
A: A Blazer.
Q: What do you call a fly on marijuana?
A: A High Flyer.
Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana?
A: A pot belly.
Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole!
Q: How do you know your a pothead?
A: You studied five days for a urine test?
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Q: What do you call a stoner when horny?
A: A weed wacker!
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