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Hillary Clinton Jokes

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Q: Why won't Hillary let her campaign staffers exercise?
A: She doesn't want them to "Feel The Bern"

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town

Q: How did Bill Clinton paralyze Hillary from the waist down?
A: He married her

Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A: She wants to be the first lady

Q: Why is Hillary Clinton running for President?
A: Because it's easier than running from Law Enforcement

Q: What was Hillary Clinton's last gift to Monica?
A: Spot remover

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Chelsea

Q: What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?
A: Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes

Q: What movie does Hillary watch when she's in a bad mood?
A: Kill Bill

Q: What do you call a party with Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton?
A: A blast from the past, present, and future presidents

Q: Did you see the Jim Carrey movie about the Benghazi Hearings?
A: It's called "Liar Liar Pantsuit on Fire"

Q: How did Snoop Dogg reply to Hillary when she asked for his support?
A: "Fo Shizzle My Hizzle"

Q: Why should conservatives vote for Hillary?
A: Because a woman's place is in the White House

Q: Why does Hillary prefer dogs to Bill Clinton?
A: A dog chases his own tail

Q: Why shouldn't Republicans worry about losing in 2016?
A: Apparently depression is covered by Obamacare

The democrats have nominated a woman to be president, let's just hope she isn't over the Hill.

Q: Why is Hillary getting ready for an 8 year term?
A: Because her vision is 2020

Q: Why did Bill Clinton quit the saxophone?
A: So he could play that Whore-monica

Q: Did you hear about the 11th Commandment Hilary Clinton introduced?
A: Thou shall not expose thy rod to thy staff

Q: What do Monica and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
A: They both blew it

If Hillary Clinton has a mandate to do anything, it's to raise Donald Trump's taxes

Q: What do you call a Iowan who hates Hillary?
A: A CORNservative

Q: Who are cats going to vote for in November?
A: Hillary Kitten

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