Q: How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb?
Q: Why should you always bring two pairs of pants with you when playing a round of golf?
A: Because you might get a hole in one!
Q: What do golf and sex have in common?
A: They're two things you can enjoy even if you're bad at both of them.
Q: Why is the game called "golf"?
A: Because all the other 4-letter words were already taken.
Q: What's the easiest shot in golf?
A. Your fourth putt.
PLAYER 1: Are you a scratch player?
PLAYER 2: I sure am. Every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went.
PLAYER 1: How do you like my game?
PLAYER 2: Oh, it's a great game, but personally I prefer golf.
PLAYER 1: What's the problem with my golf game?
PLAYER 2: You're standing too close to the ball... after you've hit it.
WIFE: You spend too much time thinking about golf! Do you even remember the day we got married?
HUSBAND: Of course I do! It was the same day I sank that 45-foot putt.
My golf game is so bad, I had to have my ball retriever re-gripped!
In golf, you can hit a 2-acre fairway 10-percent of the time, but hit a 2-inch branch 90-percent of the time.
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well.
A golfer who says he never cheats is also a liar.
Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape to play softball.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong ball on a golf course.
Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost.
When it comes to putters, try before you buy: Never buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental and 10-percent mental.
I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer!
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more likely he is to try to tell you what you're doing wrong.
The only problem with golf is that the slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
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