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Game of Thrones Jokes
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Q: Why did Bran Stark take a bath?
A: Because everyone was complaining of a strong Hodor.

Q: What stopped winter from coming?
A: Winterfell and it couldn't get up!

Q: What's the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?
A: Twitter has a limit of 140 characters.

Q: What do you call a Lannister girl who can outrun her brothers?
A: A virgin

Q: What does the young Stark boy need?
A: Some Bran' new legs

Q: If Jaime Lannister became King, what would be his first duty?
A: To find a Hand of the King

Q: What is someone doing when they swear allegiance to Daenerys?
A: They are jumping on the band-dragon

Q: What is the name of the Stark family barbershop?
A: Winter is Combing

Q: What did the railing say to the stairs?
A: A Bannister always pays his steps!

Q: Where do you take your Direwolf to get fixed?
A: The KingSpayer

Q: What Jon Snow's bakery called?
A: You know Muffins, Jon Snow

Q: Does Theon Greyjoy smell good?
A: No, he Reeks!

Q: Why didn't Theon cut Ramsay's throat with that razor blade?
A: He didn't have the balls

Q: What is Tyrion's favourite TV show?
A: "Imp My Ride"

Q: What do you call a creepy ex-boyfriend north of the Wall?
A: A White Stalker

Q: What is the name of the Starks' upcoming Christmas special?
A: "I'm Dreaming of a Red Christmas"

Q: Which game show featured the Starks and Lannisters?
A: Family Blood Feud

Q: When Daenerys' troops started strolling instead of marching, what nickname were they given?
A: The Unhurried

Q: How do most dragons get to King's Landing?
A: They fly WesterosJet

Q: What's the difference between Cersei Lannister and a direwolf?
A: Lipstick

Q: What is Kings Landing famous for?
A: It's knight life!

Q: What are White Walkers looking forward to this winter?
A: A wight Christmas

Q: Why did Cersei order the Starks direwolf to be executed?
A: She has no Sansa humor

Q: Why are dragons hard to work with?
A: They fire everyone!

Q: How do you wake up Sansa Stark?
A: Softly Turn Her (Sophie Turner)

Q: How do white walkers like their dragon eggs?
A: Terri-fried!

Q: What's the name of the game show hosted by Theon Greyjoy?
A: Wheel of Torture

Q: Which Game of Thrones character is always in the Christmas spirit?
A: Ho Ho Hodor

Q: Why was the Mountain banned from the Olympics?
A: He was taking Westeroids.

Q: What was Jaime Lannister's favourite TV show growing up?
A: All in the Family

Q: What kind of ruler would Podrick Payne be?
A: A Dicktator

Q: What's a white walkers favorite bean?
A: A human bean

Q: What did the dragon have at McDonalds?
A: A Qarther Pounder

Q: What do Theon Greyjoy and Justin Timberlake have in common?
A: A Dick in a Box

Q: What do you get when you cross a Lannister and a Lannister?
A: King Joffrey

Q: What is the Nights Watch oath?
A: Crows before Hoes

Q: How do you win the Game Of Thrones?
A: It Varys

Q: What do you call stormtroopers in jousting tournament?
A: Game of Clones

Q: Why is Arya Stark always on the run?
A: Because she's constantly being hounded.

Q: Why couldn't Rob Stark find his car?
A: He had executed his valet, Lord KarStart

Q: What is Robb Stark's favourite soup?
A: Italian Wedding Massacre

Q: What food product does King Joffrey manufacture for the diseased residents of King's Landing?
A: King Joffrey's ill-bread

Q: What nickname did Jon Snow give to Ygritte?
A: The snowblower

Q: Where did the hound go to fix his broken ear?
A: The Earie

Q: What is the name of Tywin Lannister's failure of a cousin?
A: Tylose Lannister

Q: When did Brienne realize Jaime was hitting on her?
A: When he asked "Are you sure we're not related?"

Q: How did Walder feel before the Red Wedding?
A: His nerves were Freyed

Q: How do you find Princess Myrcella?
A: By following the foot prince

Q: What is Jon Snow's favourite Pixar movie?
A: The Wall-E

Q: What do you call it when a king of Westeros tosses a domestic appliance out the window?
A: The Iron thrown!

Q: How much money did Jon Snow win on Jeopardy?
A: Zero dollars... He knew nothing!

Q: Why does no one from Winterfell have Alzheimer's?
A: Because the North remembers.

Q: How does Ygritte know that it's almost winter?
A: Snow already came.

Q: What does Varys envy most about Petyr Baelish?
A: His Littlefinger

Q: Why will Jaime Lannister never come to your aid?
A: Because he lost his helping hand

Q: What movie does Khaleesi need to watch?
A: How to Train your Dragon

Q: How do you surrender to the White Walkers?
A: Raise the wight flag

Q: If King Joffrey's body was cut up and served as sandwich meat, what would the sandwich be called?
A: Joffrey's inbred

Q: How many Starks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten: one to change the bulb, one to get executed, one to marry a dwarf, one to dress like a boy, two to get lost up north with some weirdos, and the rest to get horribly massacred at a wedding

Q: Why did Tyrion Lannister wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger?
A: Because he was married to the wrong woman

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