Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Dog Jokes

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Q: What is a dog's favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Q: How do you keep a dog from smelling?
A: You hold its nose!

Q: Which dog is very obedient?
A: a Sit Bull Terrier

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarrassed Dalmatian

Q: What do you call a magic dog?
A: A labra-cadabrador

Q: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?
A: A hot dog!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
A: Cockerpoodledoo!

Q: What do you get when you cross a race dog with a bumble bee?
A: a Greyhound Buzz

Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
A: Terrier-fied!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles!

Q: When does a dog go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A: A dog that chases cars - and catches them!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
A: Dingo Starr!

Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf.

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound!

Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
A: That hit the spots!

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: How does a dog stop a VCR?
A: It presses the "paws" button!

Q: What do you get when you cross a small dog and a large boat?
A: a Ship Tzu

Q: What dog will laugh at any joke?
A: A Chi-ha-ha

Q: Why are Dalmatians no good at "Hide and Seek"?
A: They're always spotted!

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a phone?
A: A golden receiver!

Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador

Q: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?
A: Bone appetit

Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle!

Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than it's bite!

Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

Q: What kind of dog would you find in a cave?
A: a Bat Terrier

Q: What do you call a dark Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky!

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

Q: What do you call the sound a dog makes when it's choking on a piece of its owner's jewelry?
A: A diamond in the ruff

Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A Chilli Dog

Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle

Q: What is a dog's favorite food?
A: Anything that is on your plate!

Q: What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geyser?
A: It starts raining cats and dogs.

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"

Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common?
A: They both have collar I.D.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on.

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

Q: Did you hear about the dog who couldn't stop talking like a horse?
A: It was a dog and pony show

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the "barking" lot!

Q: What do you do if your dog eats your pen?
A: Use a pencil instead!

Q: Why would you be rich if you bred a golden retriever with a poodle?
A: Because you would have golden poos

Q: Who is a dog's favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

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