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Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.
Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Q: What does a proud computer call his little son?
A: A microchip off the old block.
Q: What is another name for a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness
Q: What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?
A: A slipped disk
Q: How can you tell if a computer geek is an extrovert?
A: They stare at your shoes when you talk instead of their own.
Q: Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
A: Because the bottle said "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
Q: How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house?
A: Welcome to 127.0.0.1
Q: Why can't cats work on the computer?
A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Windows Vista supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously.
The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed Linux.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
My attitude isn't bad. It's in beta.
Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
Unix is user friendly. It's just selective about who its friends are.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net on a 14.4k dial up connection.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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