Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Celebrity Jokes

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Q: What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
A: Feyonce

Q: What did Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving?
A: TWERKY

Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
A: Fo' Drizzle!

Q: How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?
A: Look for Fresh Prints!

Q: Why was Stevie Wonder's wife upset?
A: Because he told her he wanted to see other people.

People should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Tour de France's while on drugs! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.

Q: Why did 50 Cent turn off the TV?
A: The Game was on

Q: What do Barack Obama and Tiger Woods have in common?
A: They're both trying to screw everybody!

Q: What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber concert DVD in your boyfriend's bedroom?
A: Finding a box of tissues next to it.

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice... except for Chris Brown.

Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end, but he'll come out a wide receiver!

Q: How did Barack propose to Michelle?
A: He got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said "I don't wanna be Obamaself."

Q: Why did Lil Wayne go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling a Lil Weezy

Q: Why did Michael Jackson run to Wal-Mart?
A: He heard that boys' pants were half off.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue

Q: What's brown and rhymes with "Snoop"?
A: Dr. Dre!

Q: Which course causes Tiger Woods the most trouble?
A: Intercourse!

Q: What did Kanye West say at patrick swayze's funeral?
A: "Yo. Patrick, I'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute. but Michael Jackson had the best death of the year."

Jeremy Lin is living proof that Asians CAN drive!

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.

Q: What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a sweater for Christmas?
A: Gee, you knit?

Q: How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?
A: She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles

Q: What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable?
A: Barackoli

Q: Why did Bill Clinton stop playing the saxophone?
A: He was too busy playing the whore-monica.

Q: What record did Kim Kardashian recently break?
A: First woman to have an engagement ring with a bigger carat size than her IQ!

Q: How do you make Paris Hilton's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Q: What did Kim Kardashian's right leg say to her left leg?
A: Nothing, they've never been together! Did you hear that wedding guests who gave expensive gifts are suing Kim Kardashian? They intend to file an Ass-Action lawsuit!

Q: Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?
A: Apparently, he'd been in A Few Good Men.

Q: Why is Tom Cruise so upset?
A: Because he is Holmes-less

Kim Kardashian gave birth to North West. Does that mean the area between her legs is the Northwest Passage?

Q: Did you see Dolly Parton's new shoes?
A: Neither did she.

Q: What does Ellen DeGeneres cook for dinner every night?
A: She doesn't, she eats out!

Q: What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?
A: He "Turned Down 4 Watt"

Q: What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A: Christian Bale

Q: What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
A: Their last big hit was the wall.

Q: How come Mike Tyson's eye's water during love-making?
A: Mace

Q: Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A: The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.

Q: What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
A: Hoe-Down

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz 2 Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: Why does Hillary want to make love to Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A: She wants to be the first lady.

Q: What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

If Lady Gaga is all about being "Born This Way", why does she try so hard to be different?

When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".

I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.

I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.

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