Quick, Funny Jokes!

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Cat Jokes

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Q: How do cats end a fight?
A: They hiss and make up.

Q: What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A: A mice cream cone

Q: What is a cat's way of keeping law & order?
A: Claw Enforcement

Q: What do cats use to make coffee?
A: A purrcolator.

Q: What do baby cats wear?
A: Dia-purrs!

Q: Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can't?
A: Your lap

Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimew!

Q: What is a cat's favourite song?
A: Three Blind Mice

Q: Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
A: She had mittens.

Q: What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons?
A: A sour puss!

Q: Can a cat play patty-cake?
A: Pawsibly!

Q: What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator

Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs

Q: Why is the cat so grouchy?
A: Because he's in a bad mewd

Q: What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies

Q: If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
A: None! They were copy cats

Q: Why did the cat run from the tree?
A: Because it was afraid of the bark!

Q: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their paws

Q: What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A: A peeping tom

Q: How many cats can you put into an empty box?
A: Only one. After that, the box isn't empty

Q: Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
A: He set a new lap record

Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
A: For kitty littering

Q: What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
A: Hiss and Tell

Q: What do you use to brush a cat?
A: A catacomb

Q: Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
A: Because he's always spotted

Q: Cats are like potato chips.
A: You can never have just one

Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats?
A: A Cat-astrophe

Q: How do you know when your cat has been using your computer?
A: When your mouse has teeth marks on it!

Q: How does a cat sing scales?
A: Do-ri-me-ow!

Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Meaow!

Q: What do you call a cat on ice?
A: One cool cat

Q: What do cats wear at night?
A: paw-jamas

Q: What do you call a painting of a cat?
A: A paw-trait

Q: What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
A: An eskimeow!

Q: What do cats like to eat on sunny days?
A: Mice cream cones!

Q: What's a cat's favorite button on the tv remote?
A: Paws

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!

Q: How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning herself?
A: She’s smoking a cigarette

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A cat-has-trophy!

Q: What do you call a pile of kittens?
A: A meowntain!

Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!

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